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Post subject: Accents & Personality traits
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I've split this from the Internet Confidence thread as we were getting quite off-topic - my fault I'm afraid heh 
| rose_ashes wrote: | | i've gotten to the point where i switch my personality according to the person with whom i'm talking to suit their taste. if jill likes witty, humorous people, when talking to her, i'm witty and humerous. if bob likes serious, thoughtful people, i'll be that way around him. half the time i don't know who i am because i have so many of these different people inside of me... |
Omg I thought I was the only one... I'm always picking up someone's accent if I have a conversation with them (phone or real life) and I've also noticed myself doing what you describe with the personality traits.
At the moment I live in Yorkshire and have picked up the accent, but when I visit my family I pick back up with my Cambridgeshire accent. Hubs says it's amazing as even on the phone I can switch accents in a nanosecond without realising it. Andy's great, he makes no demands on me personality wise and I can truly feel myself when it's just me and him. I've tried to just be myself around other people but they always seem to have expectations and I just don't feel I can live up to them.
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Last edited by Bebi on Sat May 20, 2006 1:44 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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 Sat May 20, 2006 7:11 am |
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Seems like there are more of us chameleons than I thought.
Once, I was home with some visiting relatives and received a call from one of my officers. When I picked up the phone, and realized it was an official call, I went into "Sergeant" mode. After finishing the call, my sister-in-law commented:
"My god Joe! You changed! You stood taller, and your voice became deeper. What was that?"
Unconsciously, I had gone into professional mode of thinking and speaking.
A therapist once told me that is how many people protect themselves, by projecting what they think the listener expects to see or hear.
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Masks reveal what they conceal. Indeed, a person does not hide behind a mask so much as struggle beneath the weight of it.
visit the boarder |
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| Sat May 20, 2006 1:12 pm |
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| that's funny JMPD my ex husband was like that as well....he is a marine so if he had a work call he stood at attention and his voice changed i always used to pick on him about that lol it is funny |
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| Mon May 29, 2006 1:48 am |
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it drives me insane. i feel like no one knows the real me, and that's the only reason they like me- because i conform to their likes while i'm around them.
i do the accent thing as well... i live in the south, and when i'm talking to someone with a strong southern accent, i pick up on it. if i'm talking to someone with a foreign accent, i'll actually start to pick up on that too. it's ridiculous.
i feel like a puppet
_________________
"The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible" -Oscar Wilde
7/22/04 |
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| Mon May 29, 2006 2:29 pm |
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Post subject: personality changes when talking to different people
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 I am normally rather reserved when talking to people socially, and only really push myelf forward when I have got to know them really well. When i was in a previous job as a technical sales manager, I could hide behind my business suit, business card and company car, and then I could talk without hesitation to anybody from Managing Director downwards: but once I was safely back home and changed into my casual clothes, the familiar shy retiring me came out of hiding once more !!! |
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| Sat Jul 08, 2006 10:48 am |
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Post subject: Yourself vs others..
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| rose_ashes wrote: | it drives me insane. i feel like no one knows the real me, and that's the only reason they like me- because i conform to their likes while i'm around them.
i do the accent thing as well... i live in the south, and when i'm talking to someone with a strong southern accent, i pick up on it. if i'm talking to someone with a foreign accent, i'll actually start to pick up on that too. it's ridiculous.
i feel like a puppet |
This is something I wouldn't really call fear but more putting up different barriers to hide the truth of oneself for reasons ranging from satisfying those around you to reasons of fearing to let others inside, wondering if they would look at you with a look similar to this  . When individuals become extremely unique, they tend to stick out when among crowds of people all looking the same and acting the same.
It's a bit different when it comes to professionalism though. As a military leader, one must be strong and stern otherwise the chain of command will fall. As a corporate leader, it works similar since those you talk to look to you for advice. As the saying goes, always keep business and personal separate. The reason is if you let go and act yourself, you fear that the chain of command will fall and those you talk to to give orders will not listen if you were yourself, hence the problem of combining business and personal. But it's something that's needed because you are taking a role and you must fulfill that role to get others into action.
But when it comes to social gatherings, if you start to act totally different from who you truly are, then that means you are hanging with the wrong crowd. Unfortunately, many of those crowds are friends you've had for a long time and if you were to change now, there is the fear of losing those friends. I've done that once and lost most of my friends. But later on I realized they weren't really friends because I couldn't be myself around them. In the end I felt much better because now I have friends that know me for who I am since I really don't care what others think of me. They may be only few friends compared to before, but they are truly what a friend should be and that's much more important than hanging with a group of people all trying to act the same. Less stressful.
It's a monumental choice you must make, act yourself and deal with major changes from losing others and gaining new friends - it takes time, or simply continue to reserve yourself and act differently to others. Just remember, by acting differently, you will miss that chance of finding that one individual with similar interests because, I'm sure, they are also amongst your crowd and are doing the same because they fear no one else is like them as well.
As for the accents, yea it's funny, something I do as well. It's just a funny habit :p .
~ Gandalf
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~ All you have to do is decide what to do with the time that's given to you.. ~ |
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| Sat Jul 08, 2006 2:00 pm |
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I have a hard time seperating my professional from my personal...See I work in the medical field...Many, many times I'm the one who has to tell the families that their loved ones have passed on....I've heard the weeping, the screaming...etc,. and still I'm stoned faced...professional...not letting my emotions show...all I tell them is.."I'm sorry for your loss, please sign here so we can release the body to the correct funeral home...etc,." So with that being said....when a friend/friends...lose a loved one I have a hard time shutting that stoned faced non emotional response off...it's not that I don't care...it's not that I don't grieve for them as well as myself...it's just like it's programmed into me...and most of the time I feel just awful for not being compassionate when I truely want to be there for someone who is going through the death of a loved one...It makes me feel like an awful...cold person...El Bandito
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Never fear the dead, fear the living, they are more dangerous...."Trust Me" |
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| Tue Aug 01, 2006 3:54 pm |
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Post subject: Re: Accents & Personality traits
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| Bebi wrote: | | Omg I thought I was the only one... I'm always picking up someone's accent if I have a conversation with them (phone or real life) and I've also noticed myself doing what you describe with the personality traits. |
OMG, me too!
English is my second language and I sometimes have troubles keeping the same accent - both spoken and in writing.
I usually speak with a (general) American accent and I applied the American writing, but when I talk or (MSN) chat with British people, I switch back and forth between American and English.
It's the worst when spoken, because of my original "tongue" I would keep messing up the pronounciation and then people get confused or try to "teach me".
I think I even know why I'm doing this; I try to fit in and make the person I talk with comfortable and even important because I use the same accent as he/she does.
Now imagine me talking to a Brit and an American at the same time... 
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~A~
http://commonsense.myfastforum.org"
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| Fri Aug 25, 2006 8:03 pm |
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