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Post subject: Viagra
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In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic
name.
For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of
Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call
Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced
that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also
considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of
course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to
literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this
a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails",
"highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will
market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants
and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040,
there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge
erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
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 Wed May 24, 2006 3:05 pm |
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Deep Heat
A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist,
"Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once,and I need something to keep me horny.. keep me potent."
The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" and says,
"Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for twelve hours."
The guy says, "Gimme three boxes."
The next day the guy walks into the same pharmacy goes up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants.The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's penis is black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places. The man says,
"Gimme a bottle of Deep Heat."
The pharmacist replies,
"You're not going to put Deep Heat on that are you?"
The man says,
"No, it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up."
_________________
NATIVE AMERICAN WISDOM |
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| Wed May 24, 2006 5:32 pm |
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Post subject:
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Grandfather
A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital.
"How are you grandpa?" he asks.
"Feeling fine," says the old man.
"What's the food like?"
"Terrific, wonderful menus."
"And the nursing?"
"Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you."
"What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"
"No problem at all --- nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet ... and that's it. I go out like a light."
The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the Sister in charge.
"What are you people doing," he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?"
"Oh, yes," replies the Sister. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The hot chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed."
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NATIVE AMERICAN WISDOM |
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| Wed May 24, 2006 5:33 pm |
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Post subject:
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How to tell if your Viagra is working
At work, they call you a spiritualist because when you sit down at a meeting, the table floats
Your face is very pale due to lack of blood
When you walk into a sauna, everyone stands and applauds
People begin to call you "the tripod."
You begin to think your mother in law is pretty
Birds perch on it when you stand outside nude
You look like a sundial when sunbathing nude
Compared to you, Pinocchio doesn't look like such a liar.
You always lose limbo contests.
You can make drawings in the sand without having to find a stick
You like to sleep on your back, so you had to remove the ceiling fan.
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NATIVE AMERICAN WISDOM |
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| Wed May 24, 2006 5:34 pm |
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Post subject:
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Viagra Quickies
(most of these are pretty terrible)
Generic Viagra is sold under the name Fix-a-Flat.
New Viagra eye drops make you look hard.
The man spent too much money on Viagra: Now, he's hard up.
Bread with Viagra as an added ingredient is being marketed through a Boston bakery under the name "Pepperidge Firm".
Did you hear about the first death from an overdose of Viagra? A man took twelve pills and his wife died.
...Then there was the man who got his Viagra tablet stuck in his throat and suffered from a stiff neck.
Have you tried the new hot beverage, Viagraccino? One cup and you're up all night.
How many doses of Viagra does it take to change a light bulb? One little tablet, and it's a whole new bulb.
The Viagra computer virus turns your floppy disk into a hard drive.
The Viagra Super virus then sucks all your data off the hard drive.
Viagra is now being compared to Disneyland - a one-hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
Men taking iron supplements are warned that taking Viagra may cause them to spin around and point north.
The difference between Niagara and Viagra? Niagara Falls.
"Micro" and "Soft". Needs Viagra!
Viagra Lite: For people who only want to masturbate
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NATIVE AMERICAN WISDOM |
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| Wed May 24, 2006 5:35 pm |
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